Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex
Top 20 Reasons
Well, there are many reasons chocolate is better than sex, but the biggest one is that you don't have to worry about chocolate getting emotionally attached to you. You can eat an entire box of chocolate, and it won't text you the next day asking if you want to hang out again. Plus, chocolate never fakes it, and it always tastes fantastic, no matter what. Let's be honest; if you had to choose between a box of chocolates and a mediocre sexual encounter, you know which one you'd pick.
- "If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
- You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
- If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won't mind.
- Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You can have chocolate on your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your workmates.
- You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- With chocolate, there's no need to fake it.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- Good chocolate is easy to find.
- You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- When you have chocolate, it does not keep your neighbours awake.
- With chocolate, size doesn't matter; it's always good.
- You can GET chocolate.
In conclusion, chocolate is the winner when comparing it with sex. Not only does it not have any emotional baggage, it also won't judge you for overeating it. And let's face it; chocolate doesn't care if you're having a bad hair day or haven't shaved your legs in weeks. It's always there for you, and it never disappoints.
Let's not forget that chocolate doesn't come with any risk of STDs or unwanted pregnancies, which is a big plus in our book. And while sex might burn some calories, have you ever tried lifting a box of chocolates? That's a workout in itself!
So next time you choose chocolate or sex, remember chocolate is always the sweeter option. And as the great comedian Jim Gaffigan once said, "Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits."