Hey there, sexy people! We've been chatting with members of our kickin' community and boy, have they shared some real zingers that were uttered during their intimate moments. Brace yourself for these shockingly hilarious revelations! 😲
🐔 "The Majestic Lil' Chicken Incident 🐔"
Just imagine, you're in the heat of the moment and your partner calls you his "majestic little chicken". Bwak bwak! What's up with that?! Never did find out why... Poor chick! 😂
🕵️♀️ "The Oedipus Complex Gone Wrong 🕵️♀️"
This next one is a doozy! This dude called his partner by his mother's name, then started crying right before the grand finale. Talk about a mood-killer! 😬
🎩 "The Lenin and Anastasia Cosplay 🎩"
Picture this: You're getting frisky with your partner and he suggests role-playing as Vladimir Lenin and Anastasia. What's worse? He tries to give a history lesson with a terrible Russian accent. Woah, comrade, slow down! 😂
👻 "The Sixth Sense Lovers 👻"
Ever felt like you're being watched? Well, one of our members' partner claimed to be chatting with the ghosts in the room while they were getting it on. Spooky and kooky! 👻
🙏 "The Second Coming of... What?! 🙏"
One self-obsessed guy had nicknamed his own tool as 'Son of God'. The kicker? He set up this nickname so during the action, he could say: 'Are you ready for the second cumming of the Son of God?' Talk about a messiah complex! 😂
🍞 "The Bread Oven Comment 🍞"
This next one takes the cake, or should we say the bread? One of our members' partner told her, “Your vagina is so warm, you could bake bread in there!” Freshly baked loaves, anyone? 😂
🐶 "The Dog Whisperer 🐶"
Next, we got a guy who looked his partner in the eyes and said, "You got it from your mama," while in the throes of passion. Oh, and he was making whiny dog sounds the entire time, saying he was mimicking a dog wanting more affection. More affection or a bone to chew on? 🦴 😂
🚮 "The Trash Talker 🚮"
Ever dealt with a total jerk? This gal was in the middle of getting it on when her guy says, "Are you still friends with Lisa, that tall blonde? I wanna hook up with her so bad! Call her!" 😳 Talk about garbage behavior, right? 🚮
🐰 "The Bunny Bouncer 🐰"
Then there's this funny bunny who stopped mid-stroke to say, "I’m gonna make like a bunny and bounce," then went at it like Thumper from Bambi. Now, they're happily married! 🐰💍
🎮 "The Tamagotchi Tamer 🎮"
This one's a blast from the past! One guy stopped in the middle of the action to say, "Just a sec, I need to feed my Tamagotchi." Talk about a digital pet emergency! 🎮
🤔 "The Frothy Misunderstanding 🤔"
Here's a guy who told his girlfriend her vagina was 'frothy.' He probably wanted to say 'wet' in a sexy way and just had no clue what frothy meant. Awkward! 😂
🃏 "The Jokester 🃏"
Ever have a joke fall flat? One of our readers' partner stopped the action to say, "Man, what a year!" during quarantine. Out of place? Yes. Hilarious running joke now? Absolutely. 😂
🍷 "The Wine and Whine 🍷"
How about a guy who's a bit of a complainer? One dude looked his partner in the eye and said, "You got it from your mama," while in the act. He had never even met her mom, but the whiny dog sounds he made the whole time were unforgettable. 😅
🤦♀️ "The Foot-In-Mouth Phenomenon 🤦♀️"
Prepare for a facepalm moment. One guy, right in the middle of the deed, said to his partner, "Are you still friends with Lisa, that tall blonde? I wanna hook up with her so bad! Call her!" Not the brightest bulb, this one. 😂
🌌 "The Yoda Impersonator 🌌"
Ever had a Star Wars fantasy? Well, one reader's partner took it to the next level and used the Yoda voice during their intimate moment. May the force be with you, indeed! 😂
🩸 "The Bloodsucker 🩸"
This one's a bit creepy, so brace yourself. A guy asked his partner if he could cut her just a little so he could lick the blood. Talk about a vampire fantasy gone wrong! 🧛♂️😱
You asked for it, let's keep this party train rolling! 🚂💨😂
💼 "The Debt Collector 💼"
Imagine getting frisky with your partner, and they ask, "How much credit card debt do you have?" Well, that's exactly what one reader's husband did. Not the best time to bring up finances, my man! 😂💳
👶 "The Future Forecaster 👶"
Get this, one gal was hooking up with an older guy who gazed at her and said, "Those boobs are going to breastfeed some nice babies." Talk about future planning... during sexy time! 😂🍼
📚 "The Self-Proclaimed Poet 📚"
Ever met a guy who was too in love with himself? One reader's partner thought it was sexy to recite his own poetry during sex. Apparently, he thought he was Shakespeare reincarnated. It seems he was more of a "tragedy" than a "sonnet." 😂📖
🏈 "The Football Fanatic 🏈"
Sports enthusiasts, this one's for you! One lady's partner, just after finishing, said, "The Dallas Cowboys are the greatest goddamn football team." Talk about post-coital sports commentary! 😂🏈
🧅 "The Onion Obsessor 🧅"
Ever had an unexpected smell ruin the mood? One reader's ex-husband stopped mid-thrust and said, "My hands smell like onions," and then made her smell them. Talk about a mood killer! 😂🧅
🐔 Clucking Crazy! 🐔
Imagine, just as things are heating up, your partner decides to compare you to... a chicken? Yep, you heard right! One guy decided to name his partner his "majestic little chicken." 🐔 Why? No idea. But hey, who are we to judge what ruffles someone's feathers? 😂
🎭 The Freudian Slip 🎭
Now, this one's a real doozy. Picture this: Your partner, lost in the throes of passion, suddenly blurts out his mother's name. Yikes! 😱 The poor guy even started crying afterwards. Talk about an Oedipal complex!
🎩 The Russian Revolution in the Bedroom 🎩
Role-playing can spice things up, right? Well, one guy took it to the next level when he suggested a bit of Vladimir Lenin and Anastasia action. Yes, that Lenin. He even started throwing out Lenin facts in a hilariously bad Russian accent. Now that's one for the history books! 📚
👻 The Ghost Whisperer 👻
Ever felt like you're not alone in the bedroom? Well, one person's partner decided to strike up a conversation with the ghosts he believed were watching them. He even claimed he was like the kid from The Sixth Sense. Spooky or kinky, you decide! 👻
🕊️ Son of God... Really? 🕊️
When ego meets erotica, things can get interesting. This story features a self-righteous smart-ass who had given his penis the nickname 'Son of God.' 😂 He even used this name during sex to ask: 'Are you ready for the second cumming of the Son of God?' Creative, we'll give him that!
🌍 Quarantine Quirkiness 🌍
Ah, the quarantine period. A time of reflection and... sex? During one intimate encounter, a guy decided to pause and exclaim, 'Man, what a year!' Needless to say, it was a bit out of place. But hey, at least they got a running joke out of it! 😅