So, What's Up With This Whole Penile Fracture Thing?
Let's get this straight (no pun intended), your one-eyed monster doesn't have a bone, so how on earth can it fracture, right? It's like saying you broke your hair! Crazy! 😂 Well, in this case, 'fracture' is just a fancy way of saying that your love gun got a bit too excited and took a hit it wasn't ready for. 💔 Ouch!
Think of it like this: your magic stick is like a couple of squishy cylinders (corpus cavernosum and corpora cavernosa if you want to go all science-y) that fill up with blood when you're feeling frisky. 🍆💦 They're covered by a protective layer known as the tunica albuginea. Now, when that protective layer tears open, that's when you can say your trouser snake is 'broken'. 😩
Is It Common or Nah?
There's a bit of debate on this one. Some people say penile fractures are as rare as finding a four-leaf clover 🍀, while others reckon they're not that uncommon. 🤷♂️ It's probably more common in young bucks who are, let's say, a bit more... energetic. 😏
How Will I Know If It Happened?
Think of this as the worst balloon pop you've ever heard! 🎈💥 If you hear a pop or crack, followed by pain that makes you want to scream louder than a heavy metal singer, that's a big red flag. 🚩 You might lose your hard-on pronto, see some bruising and swelling, or even spot some blood in your pee or at the tip. 😰
Wait, What Causes It?
This is where it gets a bit awkward. Penile fractures usually happen when your soldier is standing at attention and then takes a hit. 😬 Common scenarios include:
- Overenthusiastic sexy times - when Mr. Happy slips out and accidentally hits something hard. 😖
- Going solo a bit too energetically. 🍌💨
- Random accidents like falling onto your erection, rolling over onto it or smacking it against a wall in the dark. 🤦♂️
- And then there's 'Taqaandan'. It's a practice by some dudes in the Middle East and Central Asia who bend an erect penis to kill the erection or change its shape. Yikes! 🙈
Dude, How Do I Know For Sure?
A doc can usually tell just by checking out your junk. 🍒 But sometimes they might need to use an ultrasound, MRI, or a test called a retrograde urethrogram if they think your pee tube's been damaged too. 🏥
Oh Man, What's The Treatment?
Right now, it's all about surgery, buddy. The doc will sew up the protective layer with stitches. And while they're at it, they'll check for any other injuries, like a torn pee tube. 🔬👨⚕️
What About Complications?
After surgery, you might end up with a curved wand, some unwanted openings (fistulas), erectile dysfunction, or painful erections. Bummer, I know! 😞
When Can I Get Back in the Saddle?
You'll probably chill in the hospital for a few days after surgery.
(post-surgery). Then, you'll have a few check-ups to make sure the wound is healing and you're peeing alright. 😌 The doc will let you know when you can get back to your usual life and, uh... activities. 😉💕
How Can I Dodge This Bullet?
Dude, just don't go bending your boner on purpose, okay? And maybe be a bit careful during those wild nights. You know what they say: safety first! 🙏
Will I Be Alright After?
If you get it treated, you should be good as gold! 👍 But if you ignore it, you could have trouble peeing, getting it up, or your willy could end up looking like a boomerang. Plus, you might get some scar tissue. 😔
When Should I Talk to a Doc?
If you've hurt your hard-on, get help ASAP! Even if you didn't get help straight away, you should still chat with a doctor, especially if you're having trouble peeing, there's blood in your urine, your sausage looks a bit off-color or swollen, it hurts, or any other issues are bugging you. 🆘
After surgery, get in touch with your doctor if you have any signs of infection, like a fever, or if you're in loads of pain or bleeding.
I Have More Questions!
What's the diff between penile fracture and avulsion penile trauma? Avulsion penile trauma's when the skin of your ding-dong gets removed - usually in industrial accidents. Not the same as a fracture where the skin's usually intact. 🤔
Can the erectile tissue heal itself? Well, technically, yes. But it might heal all wonky, and you might lose some sexual or urinary function. So, it's best not to risk it! 👨⚕️
Is this an emergency? Yes, dude, it's a big red flashing light! 🚨 Get to the ER if you've had a blunt force trauma involving your stiffy. Surgery's usually the best option and it's better for your long-term health than just leaving it.
And there you have it, everything you didn't know you needed to know about penile fractures! Remember, your joystick is not a joystick, so handle with care! 😉😂c.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/expert-answers/penis-fracture/faq-20058154