Female Ejaculation Techniques
What does technique have to do with it?
Importance of Technique
The technique is important if you are determined to experience the phenomenon of female ejaculation. Some lucky women and men just happen upon it through actions they have been doing for years, only to find out that this time they did something a little bit different, and there seems to be a large wet spot as a result of it. Oh no! Did I just pee? Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to stumble upon female ejaculation without a little effort.
There is one basic technique to start out with when considering the fine art of female ejaculation. It mainly involves stimulating the G~Spot and then pushing the ejaculate out through the urethra. I will focus on two techniques for women, one—Solo; and the other—With a Partner.
The technique for men to follow will mainly be instructions on what they can do to facilitate female ejaculation, and how to take their woman on the wonderful journey they are about to share. Some women need to feel secure within their Self before they will share something as intimate as female ejaculation with their partner. Some women would rather just practice to make sure they can do it before they try it with their partner. Some women would rather just get on with it, and go at it full tilt boogie and see what comes of the experience. Others would just rather do it their Self.
Create Your Own Technique
However, if you want to start out on your journey to the discovery of female ejaculation, whether by yourself or with a partner, it is important to develop your own technique. You know what you like, and if you can communicate it to someone else, then your bags are packed for the journey, and you are ready to go.
If your PC muscles are strong, and you have been working them out, then you will know what it feels like when you contract your PC muscles down on your urethra in the act of stopping the flow of urine. If you have been doing your Pelvic Floor Kegels, as well as the G~Spot Kegels, you should be able to get in touch with this area and know what it feels like to concentrate all of your energy in this spot. No one can really tell you exactly what it feels like, but you should be able to get a pretty good idea of what it feels like if you practice. So when you do practice, create your own technique. Remember what it feels like when you do this or that. Concentrate your energy in that spot, know where your muscles are, locate your G~Spot, and you are halfway there.
Types of Orgasms
It is important to know that there are several types of orgasms. It will help you to distinguish the different sensations achieved by the different orgasms, so you know where to focus your energy. Josephine and Irving Singer in their book entitled, The Goals of Human Sexuality, reported three types of orgasm: clitoral, uterine, and blended. It is important to understand the difference between them because it will help you in learning and developing your own technique.
The clitoral orgasm is the most popular and well-known type of orgasm. The clitoris is also one of the first pleasure spots to be experienced because it is easily accessible. It is most likely the first orgasm that a woman experiences simply because it is the most sensitive spot on her entire body. On the other hand, if a woman's clitoris has not ever been stimulated, there may be a chance that she has not experienced any kind of orgasm at all. There was a time when it was thought that a woman could only have an orgasm with clitoral stimulation, but we now know that to be untrue.
A clitoral orgasm is typically described as rhythmic contractions of the PC muscles that are involuntary. A clitoral orgasm does not require penetration and can be experienced in as short an amount of time as five seconds, or it may take 15 minutes to an hour, depending on the stimulation, and the woman. The uterus generally pulls up while the contractions are felt in the outer parts of the vagina.
Clitoral orgasms are achieved with constant stimulation in a particular spot located in the vicinity of the clitoris, which can sometimes be very elusive, changing from one area to another. Women are particular in how they respond to clitoral stimulation, and everyone is different. So take some time to find out what you like, and how you like your button pushed, stroked, or licked. Because the clitoris is so sensitive, direct stimulation is not recommended. Rough hands or fingertips are sometimes better replaced with a soft tongue that basically has the same tissue structure as the clitoris, and feels so much better.
A uterine orgasm is felt much deeper than a clitoral orgasm. Involuntary contractions of the PC muscles are not experienced. However, deep penetration that stimulates the cervix, and the uterus, activates the uterus to push out and up against the penis causing a bearing down sensation. So it is more like your uterus is doing the contracting instead of your PC muscles. While it is normal to experience multiple orgasms with clitoral stimulation, a uterine orgasm is not experienced quite so frequently among women, and usually only occurs once during a lovemaking session. However, there are some exceptions, and we all need to do our part so that multiple orgasms become the accepted normal, rather than the exception.
Uterine orgasms are usually deeply satisfying and involve emotions on a deeper level. This provides a release of tension much like the deep exhalation felt when laughing or crying. Consequently, a uterine orgasm releases a lot of emotional tension, produces feelings of well-being, and is usually deeply satisfying and emotional in nature.
A G~Spot orgasm is a combination of the clitoral and uterine orgasm, blended together with stimulation of the G~Spot, and has been referred to as a blended orgasm. Involuntary contractions of the PC muscles occur along with the deeper emotional aspects of the uterine orgasm. Multiple orgasms are very likely indeed, and hopefully, that is the direction women are headed.
Along with the PC muscle contractions and emotional satisfaction, there is a phenomenon that has been around for years, but is only recently becoming recognized—that is the awesome ability of female ejaculation. A full-blown G~Spot orgasm combined with female ejaculation can take you over the top of the most enormous wave of pleasure you have ever experienced, and keep you on top for as long as you can handle it.
Your objective here is to develop your own unique technique so that you can experience the ultimate in your own brand of sexuality. My objective is to provide you with enough knowledge, insight, and encouragement so that you can take your Self there whenever you desire, and eventually share the joy of your sexual health with your partner, should you choose to do so.
Technique for Women
Whether you choose to get started on your own or share the journey with your partner from the very beginning, there are some important considerations to keep in mind.
One of the first things to take into consideration is—Are you ready?
- Are you in touch with your body in an intimate way so that you feel comfortable exploring your sexuality?
- Are you in touch with your emotions so that you can handle what you may be feeling as a result of an intense G~Spot orgasm?
- Are you ready to develop your ability to its fullest extent?
- Are you ready to give it all you’ve got—and then some?
- Are you ready to be vulnerable with yourself as well as your partner?
- Are you ready to let it all go and accept the enormous amount of pleasure and satisfaction that is waiting for you?
- Do you realize that this can be a lifelong project that evolves around the Circle of Life for as long as you are willing?
- Are you ready to start having some of the best orgasms you have ever experienced in your life?
If you have answered “yes” to the majority of these questions, then you are ready for the journey to experience the joy of your sexual health.
Have you been exercising your sexual muscles, and are they strong enough? You can tell your PC muscles are strong, or at least toned, because when you have a clitoral orgasm the PC muscles involuntarily contract. You will be able to feel the contractions inside your vagina to the degree that your muscles have strength. Some women with weak PC muscles will barely be able to feel the contractions, or not even know they exist. Other women will have very strong contractions, so strong that it may feel as if their vagina is massaging the base of their uterus, and almost pushing their uterus upwards towards their abdomen.
Another way to measure the strength of your PC muscles is how many fingers you need to insert into your vagina before you can feel the walls of your vagina tighten around your finger(s) when you contract your PC muscles. If you can feel your vagina squeezing on just one finger, then you can assume that your muscles are doing pretty well. If it takes two or three fingers before you feel the squeeze, then it is good to assume that your PC muscles still need some training.
If you are one of the fortunate women who experience uterine orgasms, then you already have a head start on knowing what a satisfying, emotional uterine orgasm feels like. There is definitely an emotional side to female ejaculation, which cannot be denied, and needs to be recognized before moving on.
It is well known that some emotions, when not expressed outwardly, get shoved deep inside of us—somewhere. I am sure we all have our ideas of where these emotions are stored—such as our heart, our stomach, our anus, our vagina, our prostrate gland, or maybe even our big toe. These emotions wind up being the baggage that we carry around with us and bring to our relationships. Sometimes we do not even mean to pack along all of that baggage, but darn, it has been with us for so many years, we just don’t know what to do with it anymore. Then when we experience something else that hurts our feelings, what do we do with it? We shove it in the suitcase that is already over-packed.
Have you ever wondered how it would feel if you were just to let it all go? Simply release it to the Universe, because you obviously do not need it anymore. However, it is not as easy as it may sound. Remember that gut feeling that would not go away when someone hurt you very badly. Did you stuff it? Can you feel it right now?
How would you like to be able to release it in a manner that brought you immense pleasure? If you could, would you? Female ejaculation will take you on a journey, where the destination does not matter; just the steps that you take to get there will be all that is important. Female ejaculation will help you to release those parts of you that may need healing. If you find that you have been exposed to so much trauma that you need specialized professional help, there are resources available. There are schools of instruction for sexual healing where classes are offered in the United States and Canada. In some cases, you may also find some online healing helpful.
Have you ever been pissed off at your lover for leaving you hanging? Who hasn’t? Or are you one of those women who fake orgasms? Shame on you! Better yet, are you one of those women who demand that your lover finish the job, and you won't let him pass out until he does? Then you just climb on top and take what is rightfully yours? Whew! Now that is powerful!
Just as you are the only person who thinks inside your brain, you are the only person who is ultimately responsible for your orgasm. It is OK to need some help, but in the end, you are the only one who is going to decide whether you can let yourself go enough to enjoy the pleasure and satisfaction that awaits you, either in the presence of your lover or just by yourself.
So if you are blaming your lover because you are not satisfied, or because you did not have an orgasm, and he got his, then stop for a moment and think about it. Did you really choose to have an orgasm, and were you participating in the experience to your fullest extent, or were you just waiting for it to be over?
Maybe you started faking orgasms years ago, and he doesn’t have the slightest clue that you aren’t enjoying yourself. Now you don’t know what to do, because you are caught up in the pretense of it all and cannot imagine actually being honest about it, because then you might hurt his feelings or worse. You could be called a liar, and totally wreck your relationship. So you continue with your counterfeit orgasms, but you are really miserable deep down inside. This could quite possibly be your way out of a frustrating experience.
Nobody else can experience your orgasm for you, and nobody else can give you permission to let yourself go and enjoy the pleasure that is so unmistakably yours. So take responsibility for your sexuality, your baggage, and your orgasms. Start right here and now, and decide that you are going to be responsible for your own pleasure.
It does not mean that your lover does not have an important part in helping you to have an orgasm. What it does mean is that you have to help him help you. If you are still with me, then hopefully you will learn how to be a good Helper as well as help your partner learn how to be a good Helper too.
I believe that any man would welcome the feeling of a tight, wet, hot vagina massaging his penis while a fountain of love juice squirts his stomach, his legs, his chest, and maybe even his face. Men have a thing about ejaculating, and hopefully, if you can do it just as good, if not better, than him, then it can be a huge turn-on for both of you. Imagine that the feeling is so good that it makes his penis as hard as a rock. Imagine that he feels the power of being able to extract such a powerful orgasm out of his woman, and he bonds to you with such a fierce passion, that you feel his heart beating throughout his entire body.
Just to be able to see the spectacle of love juice squirting all over the place is a gift in itself. If your lover is a visual person, he will want to see it as it explodes up from between your legs. I believe that he won’t ever be able to get enough. So be prepared to unleash the dragon in him, and be ready for whatever experiences you are blessed with. What do men really think about female ejaculation?
Female ejaculation is different for every woman, so it is hard to know what to expect. Some women are totally amazed by the experience, and it takes them quite a while to recover from le petit mort (the little death). So allow yourself the time and space to do so. Some women cannot handle the intensity of the feelings that G~Spot stimulation and female ejaculation brings up, and may need to stop. Allow yourself the prerogative of stopping when you need to. Some women may lose all control of their Self and scream, shout, cry, laugh, or do it all at once. Just be prepared to accept whatever the experience brings up for you, and be willing to deal with it in a positive, loving manner.
By now I hope that you have done your homework and that you understand the importance of maintaining strong PC muscles, doing your sexual exercises, and the difference between the types of orgasms. I cannot express how important it is to understand the impact that a G~Spot orgasm can have on your relationship. Sure you can practice by yourself, if you want to, just in case you think you might be embarrassed ejaculating in front of your partner. You may choose to practice by yourself first, because you are doing it solo anyway, and you choose to enhance your self pleasuring abilities for your own pleasure.
Technique for Women (Solo)
Sometimes it is advantageous for a woman to practice on her own before she attempts to ejaculate with a partner. That way she will have some idea of how it is done, and will be able to get comfortable with the feeling, whether she ejaculates, or not. If you are familiar with your body already and know what you like and what turns you on, and how you like your buttons pushed, then you are well on your way toward creating your own technique.
Deborah Sundahl, in her book Female Ejaculation and the G~Spot highly recommends that you practice first without a partner. Deborah has gone into much detail about all aspects of female ejaculation and has some wonderful tips and techniques that would make it well worth your time and effort to read about in her book. If you practice by yourself first, you will not feel pressured to perform, and if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Just remember to be patient with yourself if you don’t get it the first time. There is always another day, and another way, to accomplish and perfect the fine art of female ejaculation, and you should have lots of fun practicing, too.
One of the main reasons why women do not experience orgasms is because their partner did not devote the time necessary to get them in the mood, and neither did they. So please, take the time to get yourself in the mood.
Give yourself something to look forward to all day long by planning your adventure at least a day ahead of time. You may need some time so you will be prepared with everything you need such as a sex toy, and maybe some lubrication. Make sure you have some private time to yourself, so you won’t be interrupted.
Take a nice hot bath or shower, and when you are finished, rub some lotion, or olive oil, all over your body. Stand in front of a full-length mirror so you can admire yourself as you smooth the oil all over your nice clean, fresh body. Take some time to tell yourself how beautiful you are, and how wonderful it feels to be a woman. Recite some positive affirmations, and say “I love you.” Put on some sexy music that makes you want to stimulate your Self, and gets you in the mood. Get comfortable in your freshly made bed, or wherever you feel best, so you can relax and love yourself. Don’t forget to place a towel underneath you so you don’t get the bed all wet.
You are now going to explore your body in a way that will get you showing signs of readiness. Move your body to the music that is playing. Spread your legs wide open, and stretch your entire body. Take some olive oil in your hands, and slowly run your hands all over your body, from your shoulders down to your hips. Linger on your nipples, and squeeze, and massage your breasts. Make your way down to your genitals very slowly. There is no rush. Take your time. You are going to give yourself all the time you have ever wanted your lover to give to you, and then some. After all, you cannot expect someone else to give you something that you are not willing to give yourself first.
When you can feel your body start to ache inside with that “I want to be filled up” feeling, then you can start to stimulate your clitoris. A hard plastic vibrator works well for this, or you can use your fingers (whatever floats your boat). Some people advocate that your first attempt at female ejaculation should be without clitoral stimulation, but I believe that you should do whatever gets you in the mood, and makes you feel good. After all, female ejaculation is mostly about your emotions and making yourself feel good, not really whether you can do it all by yourself just by stimulating your G~Spot.
If you choose to stimulate your clitoris, then pay close attention to what your PC muscles are doing and what they feel like. Do you feel them starting to contract involuntarily? Remember the spot inside of your vagina where you feel your PC muscles pushing up into your vagina.
Once you are feeling the connection between your clitoris and your PC muscles, you can start to stroke the outside of your vagina. Some lubrication works well if you are not feeling wet yet. Gradually insert a finger into your vagina, and locate your G~Spot.
As you stroke your G~Spot notice what it feels like. Is it different from other spots inside your vagina? Does it give you a feeling of depth, almost as if you are pressing through to your abdomen? Maintain a slow, steady, circular pressure that starts at the top of the G~Spot (closet to your clitoris) and continues down towards your cervix (opening to your vagina). Pay attention to what you are feeling as you continue to stroke.
Sometimes, if your G~Spot is located farther back inside your vagina, it may be difficult to maintain a steady pressure for as long as it may take for you to ejaculate. I suggest that you have a sex toy on hand, just in case you need some additional help. The G~Spot Crystal Wand Stimulator works great for this. It is shaped so that you can maintain the necessary pressure on your G~Spot without having to hold the toy in a weird position where you cannot reach it very well. If you do not have a G~Spot sex toy, then a regular-shaped sex toy will work OK, you just might not be able to hold it in the right position with the right amount of leverage for as long as you may need to.
Start to visualize your G~Spot getting full of liquid, just like squeezing an orange with the peel still on. You know the juice is in there because you can feel it every time you press on your G~spot. Now just like your bladder, your G~Spot is getting full, and you are going to need to release that fluid. The more you stimulate your G~Spot the more love juice starts to seep out. You could check this out if you have a mirror handy. Locate your urethra, and see if you can see any fluid leaking out.
Once you start feeling like you may be getting juicy inside, then start to concentrate on your PC muscles. Visualize that your PC muscles are going to start pushing outwards, not inwards as in a clitoral orgasm. Your PC muscles are going to clamp down on the place where you feel your urethra when you urinate. Your PC muscles are actually going to poke a hole in the orange that you have been squeezing, and then squeeze all of the juice out. It may feel weird at first like you are going to pee, but you won’t. And even if you do, who cares? You did remember to put a towel underneath you, didn't you?
Now, with the spot in mind, visualize that you are going to push your G~Spot down through the roof of your vagina, and out through your vaginal opening. You really won’t, but imagine it like that. You are going to push your fingers, or your sex toy, right out of your vagina. Visualize that when you are pushing on your G~Spot that you are making it so that your G~Spot is in a better position for stimulation from your fingers or sex toy, almost as if your G~Spot is pushing out to meet whatever is there, and to ejaculate the fluid that has been building up for the past few minutes.
You may feel the urge to urinate, but in a moment or two this urge will pass, and you will instead feel a release of pressure that has built up inside of you. You will start pushing it out, and if your PC muscles are strong enough, you may feel your vagina clamp down very hard on your fingers, or you may have a hard time keeping that sex toy inside of your vagina. When this happens then you know you are ready.