Your Guide to Safer Sex
Condoms
What is a condom?
Condoms are thin rubber tube that fits over the man's erect penis before intercourse. When the man ejaculates, he does so into the condom which prevents the sperm from entering the vagina. Most condoms are made of latex and when coated with spermicide are considered an effective means of protection from pregnancy and the spread of STDs. There are other condoms available that are made of animal intestines but these are less effective for disease prevention.
How effective are condoms?
When condoms are used properly, they are about 95% effective in the prevention of pregnancy. When condoms are used with spermicidal foam, their effectiveness rate is nearly 100%. Furthermore, condoms provide excellent protection from the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, although the exact rates of success are unknown. The latex condom is the recommended form of STD and pregnancy prevention.
How are condoms used?
When using a condom, you check for holes and review the expiry date. [Note: never carry a condom in a hot, confined place such as your wallet. Always ensure they are kept out of direct sunlight. Squeeze the tip to release the air and then roll the condom down to the base of the penis. Some rolled latex will remain at the base of the penis to make it easier to pull the condom off after ejaculation. Be sure that your fingernails or jewellery do not damage or rip the condom. After orgasm, the man should hold the base of the condom during withdrawal from the vagina or anus. After the condom is away from the genitals of the partner, the condom can be safely removed.
Remember:
- Never use a condom more than once
- Always use a latex condom for effective prevention of STDs
- Lubricated condoms offer more protection from breakage and spillage of semen.
- Always use water-based lubricants
- You can double up condoms during vigorous sex. Use an unlubricated condom on the bottom, and a lubricated one on the top
- Unlubricated condoms are best for oral sex
- Practical concerns when using condoms
One of the problems with a condom is that you must interrupt foreplay momentarily to put it on. Some people get wrapped up in the moment and forget to practice safer sex. Making the condom a part of your sexual ritual will go a long way to ensuring proper use. An additional incentive to use condoms is the many varieties and brands to choose from.
Condoms come in different sizes and some have special ridges to increase enjoyment for both partners. Experiment with different brands until you find the one that is best for you. Another concern is that latex condoms are weakened by oil-based lubricants such as Vaseline, edible oils and medications. If you wish to use lubricants during sex play make sure that they are water-based.
Dental Dams
What is a dental dam?
A dental dam is basically a small sheet of latex that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. Dental dams get their name because they are used during dental surgery such as root canals. Due to the possible infectious secretions from both the vagina and anus, the dental dam is becoming a more popular safer sex tool. With the introduction of different colours, shapes and sizes, manufacturers are adding some exciting changes to what once was sterile translucent-white latex.
How effective are dental dams?
Dental dams are an extremely effective means of preventing infection from vaginal or anal secretions. There is little data available on rates of infection after use of the dental dam. There are a few important concerns that may reduce the effectiveness of the barrier. Be sure the dam is free of holes or breakage. You can check the dam before you use it by holding it up to light or seeing if water is able to pass through it. Another issue is oil-based lubricant, which can break down the latex and may cause leaks. Finally, ensure that only one side of the dam comes in contact with the genitals and that the dam is used only once. Otherwise, you are defeating the whole purpose of using the dam in the first place.
How do you use dental dams?
Dental dams are not the most difficult piece of protection to use. Some people prefer that the person performing oral sex should hold the dam so that the receiver can just sit back and relax. Others think that the receiver should hold the dam so the other partner has his/her hands-free for other stimulation. As an alternative, some dental dams are now made with an adhesive strip that will hold the dam in place. Remember to use some water-based lubricant on the vagina or anus beforehand to increase the amount of stimulation received.
Practical concerns with dental dams
People often approach dental dams with the fear that the normally intense stimulation of the tongue will be lessened by the sheet of latex. The feeling of a dental dam is different than the feeling of a tongue but it does not necessarily make it a bad thing. Use plenty of water-based lubricant and one partner can play with the latex in his/her mouth to provide their partner with a new type of stimulation. The use of a dam is up to you. Oral sex is considered to be a less dangerous practice than intercourse, and fellatio is often less dangerous than oral-anal sex. The level of protection you decide to use is your choice, but the safest sex dictates you use a dental dam at all times.
Making It Fun
Sex In The 21st Century
For many, safer sex has become a chore- something that you do so you don't suffer the consequences. The portrayal of safer sex in the media is often sterile, almost medical. We are bombarded with images and advice about safer sex. Condom companies market their products on television, AIDS activists make us fear for our lives (and rightly so) and news stories tell us about the ever-increasing number of unwanted pregnancies. The fact that many of us have to change our behaviour is quite clear; sex can be dangerous in certain ways with certain people. But wait a minute - sex is supposed to be fun, to be a means of expressing love, and sharing with one another. Well, sex can still be fun, it just has to be practised in a newfangled way. Hopefully, some of the suggestions below will help you to learn some new tricks to be safe and have pleasurable, satisfying sex.
Making the condom ritual a winner with your lover
The condom is the most widely used method for safer sex. Although the condom is one of the best ways to protect against several STDs, many men and women complain that the condom tends to 'dull the feeling', making sex less pleasurable. Well, you're going to have to live with a little reduction in sensation, because latex does act to cover the nerves that produce pleasure on the penis and alter the feeling of the penis in the vagina for the woman. However, all is not lost- there are ways to increase sensation for you and your partner when wearing a condom.
Shop around
Try a variety of different condoms. Experiment with the length, thickness and features of the condom. Some condoms come with ribbing or ridges that act to increase stimulation for the receiving partner. Other condoms come with flavouring and fun colours as a pleasant alternative. Buy a bunch of different kinds (you can find them in adult stores and pharmacies) and try them all until you find the ones that feel just right. The trying is almost as fun as the finding!
Dress your condom up for pleasure
Just before you put on the condom, spread some water-based lubricant (also found at most drug stores) on the head of your penis. The glans are then gently massaged by the lubricant as intercourse takes place. As you can imagine this one is really popular, and the enjoyment starts the minute you run to the bedroom and try it!
Spend more time on foreplay
Most foreplay is perfectly safe and is often as pleasurable as sex itself. Safer-sex couples who want to get the most out of every bit of lovemaking will stretch foreplay until both are near or approaching climax. Put that condom on and enjoy each other - sex after lasting foreplay will make you forget the condom is even there.
Maintain a positive attitude
Experiment with which partner puts the condom on. Try to incorporate the activity into your sexual 'routine'. Be creative with the before and after, and always make it fun!
Condoms, dental dams and oral sex
Performing oral sex using a dental dam or condom can be an unpleasant taste experience. One major complaint about latex has always been its displeasing taste. What%u2019s worse, latex that is pretreated with lubricant can turn any normal condom into a nightmare for the taste buds.
Here's some advice:
Get your own lubricants
If you find your own brand of lubricant, you can start buying unlubricated condoms or dental dams to use for oral sex, and lubricate (hopefully with a spermicidal lubricant) when you're ready to have intercourse. Also, many lubricants come in a variety of flavours which many a mouth finds more pleasant than latex.
Buy flavoured condoms and dental dams
Most erotic boutiques have a variety of condoms that will please even the most discriminating tastes. You may even like the taste of flavoured latex more than the real thing!
Add your own toppings to the latex
One word of caution is that you should make sure that the food products do not contain any oil which will act to break down the dental dam or condom. You may want to try some whipped cream, chocolate sauce or anything else which sounds tasty to you.
Some alternatives to the dental dam
Dental dams offer a unique kind of problem. Many people do not like to use dental dams because they like to feel the tongue to clitoris or tongue-to-anus stimulation. Along with dental dams, you can employ some other stimulation to complete the experience. Wear a latex glove covered in lubricant to further tease your partner's anus or vagina. If dental dams are becoming a problem because you are tired of holding something on your partner, you can use plastic wrap (no, we're not kidding) and wrap it around the vagina and/or anus. While cellophane is not as good protection as latex (and should never be used instead of condoms), using it will keep the hands free to use elsewhere.
The bottom line
Allow yourself to enjoy safer sex. Develop a positive attitude towards safer sex that will enable you to escape the pressures of doing it without protection. Use your humour and imagination to develop new and exciting strategies for dealing with this new kind of sex - sex in the 90s.
Sex safety doesn't end with condoms...
There are a few important tips to remember to make sex safer that are often not mentioned in popular literature and media. Safer sex does not just entail wearing a condom but also includes keeping clean, knowing what to avoid and making the right decisions.
Keeping clean
The body creates many hassles during sex for those looking to keep things safe. There are a lot of fluids involved in sex -urine, feces, semen, vaginal secretions, saliva, and blood -fluids with which either partner can come into contact through the course of virtually any form of sexual activity. Many of these fluids are excellent carriers of disease and should be handled with care. Here are some tips for keeping clean:
- Never have vaginal sex after anal sex without washing first. The feces carry many organisms that can infect the vagina and can be transferred by a penis, dildo, mouth or finger like a bee transfers pollen. Wash well or use a different condom to make sure you don't cause infection.
- Never share condoms, dildos or sex toys. A condom should only ever be used once. If you do plan to use a sex toy or dildo that was used by someone else, remember to wash it well with soap and water. If you are really unsure, you can even use bleach to clean these items, and rinse them extremely well, or put a condom over the object.
- Always wash well before anal sex. Anal sex is safer if you wash the anus and surrounding area with soap and water before having sex. It is also recommended that you defecate (have a bowel movement) well before you begin.
- Always wash towels and bedsheets. Some STDs (such as scabies) can be transmitted through fabric. Feces which may be washed off after anal sex can also cause sanitary problems. Never reuse towels used to wash up after sex as a hand or face towel; just throw any towels straight into the laundry, or use bathroom tissue.#
Other issues you may not have thought about
Athletic sex
Ouch! Imagine the pain of damaging your penis during unusually athletic sex. Also, imagine the tearing to the lining of the vagina or anus if you're not careful. Athletic sex refers to extremely vigorous sex involving penetration of some kind. When a penis is involved, there is the danger of causing trauma to the penis especially if the other partner is on top. If the penis misses entry during copulation, it can jam against the body of the partner, possibly causing some of the vessels in the penis to burst, or tissue to tear. If this does happen, go immediately to an emergency room, where a doctor may be able to rectify the problem. In the case of tearing and abrasion, always use copious amounts of lubrication to lessen the amount of friction against the tissue.
Heart disease
It's no mystery that sex is a strenuous activity. Some liken the act to a good workout. Consequently, you should treat sex as a form of exercise, and consult your doctor about whether or not you are fit to enjoy it if you suffer from heart disease. Often a doctor will tell you ways of having less strenuous sex, such as positions that are not as physically demanding.