You might be thinking, wait a minute Dom’s make the rules so why would you need a beginner's guide, well as an experienced Dom I can tell you this article would have saved me when I first started practicing domination. So stop being a stubborn Dom and take some advice from an experienced Dom.
Being a Dom is a lot of responsibility. Whether you like to admit it or not your sub(s) health and safety are in your hands and because of this you need to make sure you do things the right way. Be under no illusion just because your sub has offered themselves to you at this moment in time it doesn’t mean you will always have them as a sub like any relationship the relationship between a dom and their sub can break down and it’s the ultimate betrayal for a sub to lose their master's respect.
Generally, in life, you are either a Dom or a Sub to some degree, and if you take away the sexual part of doms and subs then you can look around your office at work and put people into each of the categories this is entirely different as you might find the quiet girl that constantly says yes to everything and doesn’t talk unless someone speaks top her first might go home and put her fella in restraints and peg the fuck out of him. This is why you must separate the life outside of the Dom/Sub Sex relationship you have with your Sub and the reality of your everyday life that said, if you have friends or people you mix with the same interest, then this isn’t an issue. Just make sure you don’t start telling everyone in the office that you regularly piss on your sub when they do something you don’t like or start spanking your sub in the middle of Tesco’s for dropping the eggs. This would be a surefire way to lose friends and possibly get locked up. I have never punished my sub in public. It’s a rule I have always followed, but I have in the past bragged about what we get up to, and this has lost me a close friend that couldn’t understand it and saw my relationship as abusive, this is not the case I can assure you but brings me on to my next subject.
Strict Rules & Boundaries
It really is very important that when you are a Dom, before anything, you need to know what your sub wants you to do to them or what they are willing to have done to them on your preference. Like in the Movie we all love or Hate a contract is signed by the Sub, now am not saying you need to write a contract out and get it signed, although this can make for some kinky play in itself. Discuss with your sub what they like and don’t like now there is a very good chance that your sub is a long-term relationship, and you both already know what each other like but it's always worth a recap. Me and Little Sub love doing this its fun. We can discuss what new things we have seen and want to try and we can say what we have done that we didn’t like so much it has to be an open forum. For example, Little Sub gets turned on by short sharp stinging pains and I enjoy administering this, but Little Sub doesn’t like to be called offensive names which I like to do, but I know I don’t mean them so I don’t.
We also have a system we use to make sure Little Sub can stop the preceding at any time this is really important because you will find as you start this is used a lot but instead of thinking it's a bad thing your Sub stops you from doing something its not. So we have a traffic light system, Green, Amber & Red. Now its important to clarify exactly what these are because I want them to fit in with our play time I made them very submissive not to kill the mood for me we us as follows:
GREEN = More, please
AMBER = You're hurting me, sir
RED = I have failed
So what does each color mean well, its pretty simple really GREEN means the sub wants more, but who are they to tell you what they want hence “More please.” AMBER means you are doing something I don’t really like or is starting to be unpleasurable either tone it down or move on to something else, and RED is a suitable stop now none of that shit for me, thanks. You must keep to this never carry on when RED has been called if you do, this is where you're breaking the law, as the sub has revoked all consent. So if this is all you take from my guide, then it’s done its job.
Take Care of Your Sub
So you have spanked your sub's arse and its red raw they loved it but remember it's going to be sore and even the most sadistic of subs that love pain will be in discomfort it’s important to make sure you look after them after all they are a possession to you, and you look after your possessions right? Well, you should so use some spank cream to soothe the area no reason you have to remove any restraints or release them before doing this I find it can be quite a controlling thing to do so incorporate after-care into your play I will be writing about this sometime in the future but I thought it was an important point to make right now.
Ok so I think that covers the basics and the really important stuff you should know as a Dom to keep you both safe and out of trouble I will update this blog regularly with things I think may need adding as the website progresses so I will be linking back in the future