How To Kiss
Our Guide To Everything Kissing
Learning how to kiss well is one of the best ways of establishing or building a relationship with someone special. Kissing is an art. Most people are not born good kissers and learn through trial and error. Although there is no substitute for experience, the tips and advice shared on this site on how to kiss and how to be a good kisser will help you become great at kissing in no time.
Set The Mood for Kissing
Learning to kiss is not just about mouth-to-mouth or mouth-to-skin contact. Your environment, mood, body language, and the nature of your relationship with your kissing partner play an important role in kissing.
There is a time and a place for everything, including kissing. Even though you may be in the mood to kiss your partner, he or she may not be in the mood to reciprocate. Trying to kiss someone when that person is not ready or willing to kiss you back can be awkward.
Although you may not have a problem with kissing in public, realize that most people do have a problem showing affection in public. A romantic kiss is an intimate act. The fact that you and your partner may be having a good time together in a public venue does not mean it’s the right place and time to kiss. Instead, wait until you are in private.
Pay attention to your body language as well as to the body language of your partner. Some studies suggest that up to 90% of communication is nonverbal!
Here are some common body language clues to be aware of when trying to set the mood for kissing or gauging your partner’s mood:
- Holding object(s) in front of the body – Often a sign of shyness and resistance.
- Scratching head or neck – Demonstrates doubt and uncertainty. I can also infer lying.
- Sitting on the edge of the chair – A sign of being uncomfortable.
- Checking the time or inspecting hands – Normally a sign of boredom.
- Crossing arms – Often a sign of resistance.
- Tapping finger(s) or foot – Normally a sign of boredom or frustration.
- Tucking on clothes – Feeling uncomfortable or nervous.
- Stroking chin while looking at someone – A sign of judging someone.
- Not facing a person directly can indicate discomfort or a lack of interest.
- Touching the face, especially the nose or ears – Can indicate deception or a lie.
- Resting hands behind the head – Usually a sign of feeling superior.
Try keeping your hands still, even if you are nervous, and don’t fidget. Face your partner directly and pay attention to what he or she is saying. Don’t cross your arms or put your hands behind your head. You want to appear confident, comfortable, interested and relaxed in the presence of your partner.
As mentioned above, learning how to kiss is not just about physical contact. Establishing an emotional bond with someone first will make that first kiss and subsequent kisses feel more special than if it’s purely based on physical attraction only.
The best way to set the mood for kissing is to establish an emotional connection with the person you want to kiss.
Initiating The Kiss
How to initiate a kiss is an integral part of learning to kiss.
Here are some excellent ways of initiating a kiss: (Pay attention, your partner may be initiating the kiss!)
- Look into your partner’s eyes or at your partner’s lips and move your head slowly closer without breaking eye contact.
- Look into your partner’s eyes and move closer while gently reaching out a hand and stroking his or her hair or cheek. Maintain eye contact.
- Look into your partner’s eyes and move closer. Put your arms around your partner’s waist (if you’re a guy), over his shoulders, or around his neck (if you’re a girl). Maintain eye contact.
You can also combine the above by, for example, putting one arm around your partner and using your free hand to stroke his or her hair or cheek while maintaining eye contact.
Note that using your hands and establishing eye contact with your partner, as described above, is a very important part of kissing. It breaks the ice as far as physical contact is concerned.
It’s also a good idea to touch your partner’s hand, shoulder or back casually but affectionately a couple of times before initiating the kiss.
After you have initiated the kiss, you will quickly know whether your partner is ready or willing to kiss you. If he or she acts surprised or moves away from you, you know it’s not the right time or place, or your partner is not interested in kissing you. Should this be the case, respect your partner’s decision. Don’t act as if you’re offended. Let your partner know that it’s okay.
How To Kiss
After you have initiated the kiss and your partner has responded favourably to your approach, it’s time to kiss.
As you move your face closer, tilt your head slightly to the left or the right to avoid bumping noses and close your eyes slowly just before your mouths touch.
You may want to take it easy if it’s your first kissing your partner. Either kiss your partner full on the mouth while keeping your lips mostly closed or kiss your partner’s upper or lower lip. As your lips make contact, pucker them slightly before relaxing them again.
What you do next depends significantly on your partner’s reaction and body chemistry. It will vary from person to person and from situation to situation. After the kiss, re-establish eye contact and smile, showing you enjoyed it. Based on your partner's reaction, you may want to go for a second kiss or even a French kiss unless you feel your partner pulling away from you, indicating that, for now, it’s enough.
One last comment in this section on how to kiss… Kissing does not always have to be mouth-to-mouth only. Kissing your partner on the cheek, nose, neck, forehead, eyebrows, ear, etc., can be very romantic! Many people find it easier to first kiss their partner’s neck, cheek or ear before kissing their partner on the mouth.
You can also kiss your partner on the neck, chin or ear after kissing him or her on the mouth. It’s a sign of affection and an excellent way of rounding off the kiss.
Kissing Do’s & Don’ts
Here are some of the most common kissing do’s and don’ts. They may seem obvious, but it’s surprising how often they are not respected by experienced kissers and people wanting to learn how to kiss alike.
- Don’t smile just before you kiss, or you will end up bumping teeth which can be unpleasant.
- Don’t just stick your tongue in your partner’s mouth or use too much tongue. It’s annoying!
- Moisten your lips slightly with your tongue before kissing for a smoother kiss.
- Wandering hands is a big turnoff for most girls. It creates the impression that the guy has only one thing on his mind and it’s not romantic.
- Take care of your lips. Dry or chapped lips are not fun to kiss!
- Too much saliva in your mouth can ruin a kiss. Swallow excess saliva before kissing.
- Brush your teeth before kissing or chew some mint-flavoured gum for fresh breath.
- If you smoke, don’t kiss your partner after finishing your cigarette. Nobody likes to kiss an ashtray!
- Avoid eating food such as garlic during dinner if you intend to kiss your partner straight after dinner.
- The more relaxed you are, the more you can enjoy the kiss. Feeling slightly nervous before kissing someone is normal, especially for the first time. Just try your best to relax.
The 10-Step Guide To Kissing Like a God
Sometimes it’s easier to learn how to kiss or become better at kissing by actually watching people kiss than by looking at photos or reading about it.
Here is a quick summary of the kissing steps:
Step 1: Brush your teeth before kissing, or at least have a mint to freshen your breath.
Step 2: Sit with your partner, preferably in private.
Step 3: Relax and clear your mind. Focus only on the person with you.
Step 4: Lean into the person until your lips touch.
Step 5: Keep lip contact soft and gentle.
Step 6: Experiment with different movements and techniques.
Step 7: Open your mouth enough to slide your tongue into your partner’s mouth slowly.
Step 8: Breath. Come up for air and kiss your partner’s ears, face and neck.
Step 9: Use your hands.
Step 10: Practice makes perfect.
The First Kiss
The first kiss often makes or breaks a relationship. Most couples will recall their first kiss years after it happened. It should be memorable and not something you would like to forget!
Following the tips and advice on this site, especially the first kiss tips, you will have nothing to worry about. Also, refer to how to kiss a girl for the first time or kiss a boy for the first time for some quick and easy step-by-step tips.
How To Kiss A Girl
Most girls expect a guy to make the first move or initiate the kiss. So, if you want to kiss a girl, don’t wait for her to kiss you first. You may end up waiting a long time! Chances are she is waiting for you to kiss her.
Most girls like a guy who is confident and sure of himself but cares about her feelings, including kissing. The tips and advice shared here on how to kiss a girl will make kissing her well a breeze! You can also look at how to kiss a girl for the first time with five quick and easy step-by-step tips.
How To Kiss A Guy
The easiest way to kiss a guy is to either initiate the kiss, as explained above or lean forward and kiss him anywhere on his face. Don’t worry about it! Just do it! Try to keep eye contact with him before and after the kiss. Before the kiss, he is not surprised or thinks you are just playing, and after the kiss, you can read his reaction and be ready to give him another more serious kiss or receive a kiss back.
No guy will judge the kiss on a scale of one to ten. Most guys will find it flattering, to say the least, and will, more often than not, reciprocate immediately.
For more kissing tips and step-by-step advice, look at How to Kiss a Guy or the post about how to kiss a boy for the first time, and you will know everything you need to know to get it right.
How To French Kiss
French kissing is a very passionate way to kiss someone. It requires both parties to kiss each other using their tongues while kissing. At first glance, French kissing may seem a bit complicated, but it’s very easy to learn how to French kiss someone.
For detailed tips and advice on how to French kiss someone, look at the how-to French kiss page, and you will soon have a lot of fun with French kissing.
How To Make Out
Making out generally involves not only French kissing your partner but kissing him or her passionately all over the face, especially the ears and neck, for an extended period while using your hands to hold your partner’s face or stroke his or her hair or cheek.
For tips and advice on how to make out with a girl, a guy or for the first time, see how to make out and discover just how much fun making out can be.
How To Be A Good Kisser
Knowing how to kiss is one thing. Knowing how to be a good kisser is a different story! Most teens know how to kiss or at least have an idea of how to kiss, but surveys have shown that most people don’t want to date a bad kisser.